Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Hurricane Tom - An Analogy

bloody machete

[With regard to the Official Rovian Party Line and Ass Covering that's been coming out everywhere and anywhere a Republican can be found this week.]

Suppose Tom DeLay is heading to my 2nd grader's elementary school, carrying a machete in one hand and a spiked club mace in the other. His eyes are wild, his back is hunched, and he is growling an unending stream of obscenities, through which phrases like "blood, blood!", "mess them up" and "KILL!" are readily audible.

The local news, police and fire departments all know about Tom's heated rampage through my neighborhood. They're not exactly sure where he'll end up - maybe the school; maybe the park next to it; maybe the calm, quiet street behind it - but they know generally where he's headed. The news crews head over immediately, some to follow him, and some to monitor the school's preparation.

All the teachers, the school nurse and the principal also know he's headed their way. They do everything they can to protect the children: they lock the doors to the school, lock the doors to the classrooms, turn out the lights, and hide. Or maybe they flee. They call for school buses, and use the faculty's own cars, loading everybody up as fast as they can. Or, for that matter, maybe they do nothing, and let the kids run around at recess, blissfully ignorant of the approaching monster. In this analogy, their response doesn't actually matter a whole hell of a lot.

Because when Tom arrives, his bloodlust knows no bounds. He smashes through locked doors (or, chases down kids trying to scramble into cars, or, charges around the swingsets), smashing in little heads and chopping off little arms and legs with gleeful abandon. By the time his rampage is finished (he got tired, and fell asleep under a rock similar to the one he crawled out from under in Houston, years ago), more than a hundred children and teachers are dead or gravely wounded.

So, following guidelines analogous to those purported by Republicans and Bush-apologists around the country this week, all the emergency responders stay away. The police cars, fire engines and ambulances stay parked, gleaming in their respective garages, while the first responders sit around, playing poker and watching daytime TV. They obviously should not lift a finger yet. This is still a job for the school nurse. If, and only if, she thinks she might, just maybe, need a little help, she should consult the principal. The principal will handle it; no sweat. If however, on the outside chance that this little situation is more than the principal thinks she can handle, then by all means she should call 911 and see if anybody is available, and if they might be able to find time to stop by?

Fucking idiots.


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