Asymmetrical Warfare

You may have heard that the three Guantanamo Bay prisoners who killed themselves were not just protesting, they were waging "asymmetrical warfare":

"They are smart, they are creative, they are committed," Admiral Harris said. "They have no regard for life, neither ours nor their own. I believe this was not an act of desperation, but an act of asymmetrical warfare waged against us."

At A Tiny Revolution, Jonathann Schwarz has the scoop on Other Ways They Are Waging Asymmetrical Warfare Against Us:

1. Crying
2. Begging for Mercy
3. Getting Tuberculosis
4. Forcing Us To Torture Them
5. Not Being A Terrorist
6. Being Four Years Old

Meanwhile, Jesus' General has advice for Admiral Harris: We must destroy Gitmo in order the save it.

Dear Adm. Harris,

I don't envy you. Commanding the Gitmo Center for Eternal Detention has to be one of the toughest jobs in the military. You constantly have to match wits with the meanest, most devious goatherds, falafel vendors, and taxi drivers on the planet.