Onion Vol. 42 #19

Kofi Annan Places
4,000-Pound Wreath
On Mass Grave

Another good Onion this week. Maybe it just struck a chord with me, but the first one here is really good; just classic Onion.

• I'm Doing My Inconsequential Part For The Environment
  And growing some of my own organic vegetables in my backyard garden also, to my immense gratification, reduces the use of toxic chemical-based pesticides and herbicides present in corporate farming techniques by as much as 0.0000000000000000000000000000000000000001 percent.
  
  These quixotic, Sisyphean efforts are my way of dealing with what is perhaps the most crucial and difficult issue of our time.
  
  
• What Do You Think? On Medical Marijuana
  
  • "Instead of wasting time on political moves like this, the FDA should get back to doing what it does best; approving new boner pills."
    
  • "This is the slippery slope, man! First they outlaw medical marijuana, and the next thing you know, it's only a matter of time before they make ALL pot illegal."
    
  • "It's not like the FDA left cancer patients out to dry. They can still smoke cigarettes."
  
  
• Sherpa Can Already Tell You're Not Going To Make It
  "A man of advertising cannot prepare for a low-oxygen ascent by jogging in Aspen, as I have said many times before," wrote Dorjee.