Apr. 5 Onion

April fresh Onion.

• Critics Blast Bush For Not Praying Hard Enough
  The White House Office of Communications, which has denied any wrongpraying, released transcripts of Bush's inner dialogues with God from May 12 through Oct. 22, 2005 and tried to paint the president as "very close" to the Almighty, saying he speaks with Him "regularly."
  
  
• Tom DeLay To Pursue Corruption In Private Sector
  "I can say with a clear lack of conscience that, after 21 years of public disservice, I have done everything I could to the American people," DeLay said in a televised statement to constituents.
  
  
• Infographic: New Religious Fiction
  
  • How Estelle Got Her Piety Back
    
  • 40 Nights On the Ark: An Erotic Memoir
    
  • Prejudice And Prejudice