Onion vol. 40 #45

Kerry Captures Bin Laden
One Week Too Late

Here's this week's full Onion. Another good one; my recommendations:

• Nation's Poor Win Election For Nation's Rich
  "The alliance between the tiny fraction at the top of the pyramid and the teeming masses of mouth-breathers at its enormous base has never been stronger," a triumphant Bush said. "We have an understanding, them and us."
  
  
• Liberals Return To Sodomy, Welfare Fraud
  "I've been so busy canvassing for the Democratic Party, I haven't had a single moment for suckling at the government's teat or no-holds-barred ass ramming," said Jason Carvelli, an unemployed pro-hemp activist.
  
  
• "What Do You Think?", on the Republican Majority
  "So they still control the House, Senate, and Oval Office? Well, at least we still have the smug, condescending attitude that cost us the election in the first place."
  
  
• "Infograph", on Prehistoric Discoveries
  Gay marriage killed the dinosaurs