Onion #44.5

God Puts His Tool Back Into Office

Looks like The Onion had a minor update sometime after the election. No new full stories yet (those should be tonight or tomorrow), but some classic one-liner headlines.

• America Comes Out Agin The Gay Marryin'


• Bush Does Victory Lap Around World Trade Center Site


• MoveOn CurlsUp InCorner


• Poll: Youth Totally Meant To Vote In Record Numbers


• Despite Republican Victory, Bush Supporter Has Tiny, Tiny Penis