Onion Vol. 41 #49
Get yer ice cold Onion here!
- Voice Of God Revealed To Be Cheney On Intercom
"I do know that Mr. Bush was unfamiliar with a phone-based intercom, and I suppose it is possible that Dick took advantage of that." - Alcoholic Kindergarten Teacher Stretches Naptime To Three Hours
"Let's get those nap pads out, kids," Rigby said in what her students described as "an extra-hushy indoor voice." - Goldfish Can't Stand Bowlmate
"Never moves. Just eats and craps and does that annoying thing with his mouth. Unless I want to go in the castle. Then, bam! Sally's right there hogging the whole thing."
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