Onion Vol. 41 #46

KFC Introduces New
Bird-Flu Dipping
Vaccine

Decent Onion today.

• What Do You Think? on Montana Bison Hunting
  "Now how about cutting down some of the trees that have begun to wander outside of Yellowstone National Park?"
  
  
• 133 Dead As Delta Cancels Flight In Midair
  Consolidating flights is another controversial cost-cutting measure used by Delta in recent months. Delta's last attempt to consolidate flights in midair, in December 2005, resulted in the total destruction of two 747s, which exploded in a large fireball approximately 35,000 feet over central Arizona.
  
  
• Activist Wet-T-Shirt Judge Votes For Girlfriend
  "Inevitably, my own perceptions will guide my interpretation and application of event guidelines—if that weren't a part of our system, we could just replace the judges with a tape measure," said Scully, responding to bar patrons who said they believed that several contestants had breasts both larger and better-displayed than Swain's.